What is God’s agapé love? Is it the same kind of love like we love our pets, love our favorite sports team, love our favorite food, and love our car? Is it the kind of love we fall in, fall out, and think we love? Is it the kind of love in songs?
No, these are different kinds of love. The modern usage of the English language lumps them all together, which is kind of sad because there is so much deeper meaning for each of these kinds of love. And, agapé love transcends them all. As we will see in the following verses, it is critical to understand God’s agapé love…
- For God so loved[25 ēgapēsen] the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life. (John 3:16)
- “Greater love[26 agapēn] hath no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends. (John 15:13)
- We love him[25 agapōmen], because he first loved[25 ēgapēsen] us. (1 John 4:19)
- I am crucified with Christ: nevertheless I live; yet not I, but Christ liveth in me: and the life which I now live in the flesh I live by the faith of the Son of God, who loved[25 agapēsantos] me, and gave himself for me. (Galatians 2:20)
- Husbands, love[25 agapate] your wives, even as Christ also loved[25 ēgapēsen] the church, and gave himself for it; (Ephesians 5:25)
- And Jesus answered him, The first of all the commandments is, Hear, O Israel; The Lord our God is one Lord: And thou shalt love[25 agapēseis] the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind, and with all thy strength: this is the first commandment. And the second is like, namely this, Thou shalt love[25 agapēseis] thy neighbour as thyself. There is none other commandment greater than these. (Mark 12:29-31)
- Ye have heard that it hath been said, Thou shalt love[25 agapēseis] thy neighbour, and hate thine enemy. But I say unto you, Love[25 agapate] your enemies, bless them that curse you, do good to them that hate you, and pray for them which despitefully use you, and persecute you; That ye may be the children of your Father which is in heaven: for he maketh his sun to rise on the evil and on the good, and sendeth rain on the just and on the unjust. (Matthew 5:43-45)
- Love[26 agapē] does no harm to a neighbor. Therefore love[26 agapē] is the fulfillment of the law. (Romans 13:10)
- Knowledge makes arrogant, but love[26 agapē] edifies.(1 Corinthians 8:1b)
- Though I speak with the tongues of men and of angels, and have not charity[26 agapēn], I am become as sounding brass, or a tinkling cymbal. (1 Corinthians 13:1)
What is agapé love?
For Paul, love is more important than any of the spiritual gifts and the most important virtue. Love “binds us all together in perfect harmony” (Col 3:14). Without love, ministry has limited value (13:1-3). Paul summed up the whole of the Christian ethics as “faith expressing itself in love” (Gal 5:6). Love is the central ethical expression of Christian faith, the primary fruit of the Spirit (Gal 5:22), and one of the most important motivations for ministry. The most important thing for believers to value and seek is to become a faithfully loving person. (New Living Translation (NLT) Study Bible Notes) 1 Corinthians 12:31
- 25. agapaó verb
- properly, to prefer, to love; for the believer, preferring to “live through Christ” (1 Jn 4:9,10), i.e. embracing God’s will (choosing His choices) and obeying them through His power. 25 (agapáō) preeminently refers to what God prefers as He “is love” (1 Jn 4:8,16). See 26(agapē).
With the believer, 25 /agapáō (“to love”) means actively doing what the Lord prefers, with Him (by His power and direction). True 25 /agapáō (“loving”) is always defined by God – a “discriminatingaffection which involves choice and selection” (WS, 477). 1 Jn 4:8,16,17 for example convey how loving (“preferring,” 25 /agapáō) is Christ living His life through the believer.–HELPS Word-studies
- 26. agapé noun
- properly, love which centers in moral preference. So too in secular ancient Greek, 26(agápē) focuses on preference; likewise the verb form (25 /agapáō) in antiquity meant “to prefer” (TDNT, 7). In the NT, 26 (agápē) typically refers to divine love (= what God prefers).–HELPS Word-studies
How do we get agapé love?
This kind of agapé love is a gift from God. Unbelievers may have glimpses and snippets of this kind of love, but it is an unending river (Isaiah 35:6; Jeremiah 2:13; John 4:14; John 7:38; Revelation 7:17) and a deep ocean (Proverbs 10:11; Proverbs 13:14; Proverbs 18:4) for the believer.
Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, and cometh down from the Father of lights, with whom is no variableness, neither shadow of turning. (James 1:17)
This doesn’t mean, of course, that we have only a hope of future joys—we can be full of joy here and now even in our trials and troubles. Taken in the right spirit these very things will give us patient endurance; this in turn will develop a mature character, and a character of this sort produces a steady hope, a hope that will never disappoint us. Already we have some experience of the love of God flooding through our hearts by the Holy Spirit given to us. (Romans 5:3-5)
But the fruit of the Spirit is love[26 agapēn], joy, peace, longsuffering, gentleness, goodness, faith, meekness, temperance: against such there is no law. (Galatians 5:22-23)
For ye were sometimes darkness, but now are ye light in the Lord: walk as children of light: (For the fruit of the Spirit is in all goodness and righteousness and truth;) Proving what is acceptable unto the Lord. And have no fellowship with the unfruitful works of darkness, but rather reprove them. For it is a shame even to speak of those things which are done of them in secret. But all things that are reproved are made manifest by the light: for whatsoever doth make manifest is light. (Ephesians 5:8-13)
Since God chose you to be the holy people he loves[25 ēgapēmenoi], you must clothe yourselves with tenderhearted mercy, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience. Make allowance for each other’s faults, and forgive anyone who offends you. Remember, the Lord forgave you, so you must forgive others. Above all, clothe yourselves with love[26 agapēn], which binds us all together in perfect harmony. And let the peace that comes from Christ rule in your hearts. For as members of one body you are called to live in peace. And always be thankful. (Colossians 3:12-15)
But the wisdom that is from above is first pure, then peaceable, gentle, and easy to be intreated, full of mercy and good fruits, without partiality, and without hypocrisy. And the fruit of righteousness is sown in peace of them that make peace. (James 3:17-18)
If you don’t have this kind of agapé love and want to get it. The answer is always Jesus Christ. First, you must ask Jesus Christ to come into your heart as your personal savior (What is the Gospel?). Then, you can ask God (Matthew 7:7) to fill you with his agapé love (James 1:5).
What does agapé love do?
Let’s look at Paul’s description of love (1 Corinthians 13) in the New Testament psalm of love (Psalm 45; Song of Solomon). Here the Apostle Paul concentrates on what agapé love does instead of what love is.
| Charity suffereth long, and is kind | Love is patient and kind | Love never gives up. Love cares more for others than for self |
| charity envieth not; charity vaunteth not itself, is not puffed up | Love is not jealous or boastful or proud or rude | Love doesn’t want what it doesn’t have. Love doesn’t strut, Doesn’t have a swelled head |
| Doth not behave itself unseemly, seeketh not her own | It does not demand its own way | Doesn’t force itself on others, Isn’t always “me first” |
| is not easily provoked, thinketh no evil | It is not irritable, and it keeps no record of being wronged | Doesn’t fly off the handle, Doesn’t keep score of the sins of others |
| Rejoiceth not in iniquity, but rejoiceth in the truth | It does not rejoice about injustice but rejoices whenever the truth wins out | Doesn’t revel when others grovel, Takes pleasure in the flowering of truth |
| Beareth all things, believeth all things, hopeth all things, endureth all things | Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance | Puts up with anything, Trusts God always, Always looks for the best, Never looks back, But keeps going to the end |
| Charity never faileth | love will last forever! | Love never dies |
This kind of agapé love is different than the kind of love like we love our pets, love our favorite sports team, love our favorite food, and love our car. Agapé love is an active, involved, unconditional, permanent, constructive, consistent love.
But, it’s profoundly sad and disturbing to see a husband who loves his favorite sports team more than his wife. He is patient for them to win. He wants them to have the best. He is proud of their choices. He forgives their mistakes. He rejoices win they win. He remains faithful through long slumps. And, he never wanders away.
On the contrary, he doesn’t care for his wife. He is rude to her. He demands to get his own way and do his own things. He is irritable and gets angry. He keeps track of every wrong in every argument. He expects his wife to grovel. He gives up and is unfaithful. His love fails and doesn’t last.
If this is you, stop it. Confess your sin to God. Repent of your failure to your wife. Forsake this kind of behavior. And, restore your marriage.