Leadership responsibility of godly husbands

Let’s start with a really bad example of leadership. Adam was given a responsibility in the Garden of Eden. But, when the time came to answer for sin, he abdicated his leadership and blamed the problem on his wife. I don’t know how much he knew would happen as a result of his one sin of disobedience, but it should be a warning to all of us that our decisions have long-lasting consequences.

• but you must not eat from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil; for in the day that you eat of it, you will surely die.” (Genesis 2:17)
• When the woman saw that the tree was good for food and pleasing to the eyes, and that it was desirable for obtaining wisdom, she took the fruit and ate it. She also gave some to her husband, who was with her, and he ate it. (Genesis 3:6)
• Adam was not deceived (1 Timothy 2:14)
• For if by one man’s offence death reigned (Romans 5:17)
• For since death came through a man (1 Corinthians 15:21)
• For the wages of sin is death; but the gift of God is eternal life through Jesus Christ our Lord. (Romans 6:23)
• For if we sin wilfully after that we have received the knowledge of the truth, there remaineth no more sacrifice for sins, (Hebrews 10:26)
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I can’t tell you how many couples my wife and I have talked to that sound just like Adam and Eve. Both complain about the other one. Both blame the other one. But, nobody is willing to be godly. Nobody is willing to take a stand. Nobody is willing to make a decision. Nobody is willing to take responsibility. Instead, they act like things just happened without any cause and effect.

Godly leaders take responsibility

Consider these examples of Godly men who took responsibility for problems they didn’t cause. They were willing to do whatever it took to fix things.

• We have sinned, even as our ancestors did; we have done wrong and acted wickedly. … (Psalm 106:6)
• Yet now, if thou wilt forgive their sin–; and if not, blot me, I pray thee, out of thy book which thou hast written. (Exodus 32:32)
• .Pardon, I pray, the iniquity of this people, in keeping with the greatness of Your loving devotion, just as You have forgiven them ever since they left Egypt.” (Numbers 14:19)
• … Then the people came to Moses and cried out, “We have sinned by speaking against the LORD and against you. Pray that the LORD will … (Numbers 21:7)
• Then the Israelites cried out to the LORD, “We have sinned against you, forsaking our God and serving the Baals … (Judges 10:10)
• They cried out to the LORD and said, ‘We have sinned; we have forsaken the LORD and served the Baals and the Ashtoreths. But now … (1 Samuel 12:10)
• … We have sinned against the LORD our God, both we and our ancestors; from our youth till this day we have not obeyed the LORD our God … (Jeremiah 3:25)
• ….. we have sinned and done wrong. … But we have sinned and done wrong. … (Daniel 9:5)
• “We have sinned and rebelled and you have not forgiven. … “We have sinned and rebelled, and you have not forgiven us. … (Lamentations 3:42)
• For I could wish that I myself were cursed and cut off from Christ for the sake of my brothers, my own flesh and blood, (Romans 9:3)
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Husbands learn leadership from God

Husbands are going to be called on to shoulder the responsibility, to carry the load, to take one for the team. This kind of leadership requires them to fortify themselves with God’s word.

How can a young man keep his way pure? By living according to your word. With my whole heart, I have sought you. Don’t let me wander from your commandments. I have hidden your word in my heart, that I might not sin against you. (Psalm 119:9-11 WEB)

The law of the LORD is perfect, converting the soul: the testimony of the LORD is sure, making wise the simple. The statutes of the LORD are right, rejoicing the heart: the commandment of the LORD is pure, enlightening the eyes. The fear of the LORD is clean, enduring for ever: the judgments of the LORD are true and righteous altogether. More to be desired are they than gold, yea, than much fine gold: sweeter also than honey and the honeycomb. Moreover by them is thy servant warned: and in keeping of them there is great reward. (Psalm 19:7-11 KJV)

Blessed is the man that walketh not in the counsel of the ungodly, nor standeth in the way of sinners, nor sitteth in the seat of the scornful. But his delight is in the law of the LORD; and in his law doth he meditate day and night. And he shall be like a tree planted by the rivers of water, that bringeth forth his fruit in his season; his leaf also shall not wither; and whatsoever he doeth shall prosper. (Psalm 1:1-3 KJV)

This book of the law shall not depart out of thy mouth; but thou shalt meditate therein day and night, that thou mayest observe to do according to all that is written therein: for then thou shalt make thy way prosperous, and then thou shalt have good success. (Joshua 1:8)

Every Scripture is God-breathed and profitable for teaching, for reproof, for correction, and for instruction in righteousness, that the man of God may be complete, thoroughly equipped for every good work. (2 Timothy 3:16-17 WEB)

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Husband’s exercise leadership by example

God ordained marriage to be an example of his relationship with the church. Not the other way around. We need to be very careful how we respond to this requirement. We need to be prepared to follow God’s leadership before we can have our own leadership. We need to be prepared to give our lives for the sake of our wives. Literally and figuratively!

Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it; That he might sanctify and cleanse it with the washing of water by the word, That he might present it to himself a glorious church, not having spot, or wrinkle, or any such thing; but that it should be holy and without blemish. (Ephesians 5:25-27 KJV)

You husbands, in the same way, live with your wives according to knowledge, giving honor to the woman, as to the weaker vessel, as being also joint heirs of the grace of life; that your prayers may not be hindered. (1 Peter 3:7 WEB)

let us draw near with a sincere heart in full assurance of faith, having our hearts sprinkled to cleanse us from a guilty conscience and our bodies washed with pure water. (Hebrews 10:22)

There is no place for authoritarian dictators or overlord husbands

One of the strangest conversations among the disciples happened near the end of Jesus’ ministry. Two of the disciples wanted to have preeminence over the other disciples. This is not godly leadership. Jesus’ answer was very clear for them, for the church as a whole, and by extension, to the family. Godly leadership is being a servant.

James and John, the sons of Zebedee, came near to him, saying, “Teacher, we want you to do for us whatever we will ask.” He said to them, “What do you want me to do for you?” They said to him, “Grant to us that we may sit, one at your right hand, and one at your left hand, in your glory.” But Jesus said to them, “You don’t know what you are asking. Are you able to drink the cup that I drink, and to be baptized with the baptism that I am baptized with?” They said to him, “We are able.” Jesus said to them, “You shall indeed drink the cup that I drink, and you shall be baptized with the baptism that I am baptized with; but to sit at my right hand and at my left hand is not mine to give, but for whom it has been prepared.” (Mark 10:35-40 WEB)

When the ten heard it, they were indignant with the two brothers. But Jesus summoned them, and said, “You know that the rulers of the nations lord it over them, and their great ones exercise authority over them.  It shall not be so among you, but whoever desires to become great among you shall be your servant. Whoever desires to be first among you shall be your bondservant, even as the Son of Man came not to be served, but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many. ” (Matthew 20:24-28 WEB)

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