Unless you’re a hermit, living alone without any human contact, living off the grid except for this internet connection, and living off the land by hunting and farming, you need to communicate with other people. Communication is fragile and precious, it should be treated with care and respect. The following phrases will damage it, so avoid them as much as possible.
1) Honestly… Truthfully… — If what you have said, are saying, or will say, are so unbelievable that you have to add the phrase, “Honestly” or “Truthfully” it would be better to not say it. Once you declare that a particular sentence, thought, or concept is “honest” or “true” you are throwing doubt on all the rest of your communication. Never do this!
Dear brothers and sisters, be patient as you wait for the Lord’s return. Consider the farmers who patiently wait for the rains in the fall and in the spring. They eagerly look for the valuable harvest to ripen. You, too, must be patient. Take courage, for the coming of the Lord is near.
Don’t grumble about each other, brothers and sisters, or you will be judged. For look—the Judge is standing at the door!
For examples of patience in suffering, dear brothers and sisters, look at the prophets who spoke in the name of the Lord. We give great honor to those who endure under suffering. For instance, you know about Job, a man of great endurance. You can see how the Lord was kind to him at the end, for the Lord is full of tenderness and mercy.
But most of all, my brothers and sisters, never take an oath, by heaven or earth or anything else. Just say a simple yes or no, so that you will not sin and be condemned. (James 5:7-12)
2) Just kidding! Just sayin’ — If what you said was so hurtful that it needs to have a disclaimer added, you are forcing the hearer to make a decision whether to doubt the original statement, the disclaimer, or both. This will damage the credibility of your communication. Never do this!
Imitate God, therefore, in everything you do, because you are his dear children. Live a life filled with love, following the example of Christ. He loved usa and offered himself as a sacrifice for us, a pleasing aroma to God.
Let there be no sexual immorality, impurity, or greed among you. Such sins have no place among God’s people. Obscene stories, foolish talk, and coarse jokes—these are not for you. Instead, let there be thankfulness to God. You can be sure that no immoral, impure, or greedy person will inherit the Kingdom of Christ and of God. For a greedy person is an idolater, worshiping the things of this world.
Don’t be fooled by those who try to excuse these sins, for the anger of God will fall on all who disobey him. Don’t participate in the things these people do. For once you were full of darkness, but now you have light from the Lord. So live as people of light! For this light within you produces only what is good and right and true. (Ephesians 5:1-9)
3) I’m not saying… — if what you are saying is so ambiguous that hearers need to be told what you are not saying, it would be better not to say it. It is much better communication to only “Say what you mean and mean what you say,” like these godly priests…
They read from the Book of the Law of God and clearly explained the meaning of what was being read, helping the people understand each passage. (Nehemiah 8:8)
4) This is not a guilt trip… — if what you said is so ambiguous that hearers are going to feel guilty unless you add this phrase, it would be better not to say it. This isn’t communication, it’s manipulation. Anything that manipulates people by trying to make them behave or think the way you want them to is going to cause resistance. If you say something that causes that resistance and then tell people you didn’t do it. You are creating a logical conundrum for them. They will think you are trying to make them do something. Or, they will think you are trying to make them think you are not trying to make them do something. Both are bad forms of communication. Never do this!
Do not take advantage of each other, but fear your God. I am the LORD your God. (Leviticus 25:17)
Do not take revenge, my dear friends, but leave room for God’s wrath, for it is written: “It is mine to avenge; I will repay,” says the Lord. (Romans 12:19)
When someone else uses these phrases in their communication, pay attention, proceed with caution, and run screaming for the hills.
Finally, dear brothers and sisters, we urge you in the name of the Lord Jesus to live in a way that pleases God, as we have taught you. You live this way already, and we encourage you to do so even more. For you remember what we taught you by the authority of the Lord Jesus.
God’s will is for you to be holy, so stay away from all sexual sin. Then each of you will control his own body and live in holiness and honor—not in lustful passion like the pagans who do not know God and his ways. Never harm or cheat a Christian brother in this matter by violating his wife, for the Lord avenges all such sins, as we have solemnly warned you before. God has called us to live holy lives, not impure lives. Therefore, anyone who refuses to live by these rules is not disobeying human teaching but is rejecting God, who gives his Holy Spirit to you.
But we don’t need to write to you about the importance of loving each other, for God himself has taught you to love one another. Indeed, you already show your love for all the believers throughout Macedonia. Even so, dear brothers and sisters, we urge you to love them even more.
Make it your goal to live a quiet life, minding your own business and working with your hands, just as we instructed you before. Then people who are not Christians will respect the way you live, and you will not need to depend on others. (1 Thessalonians 4:1-11)