What about Stockholm Syndrome?

The Stockholm Syndrome is a strategy of survival in a very, very bad situation. Many experts agree that a situation with the following 4 characteristics can cause Stockholm Syndrome…

1. Perceived threat to one’s physical or psychological survival and the belief that the abuser would carry out the threat — when one man, a group of men, or a religious system wields too much power, especially when this power is considered to be God-ordained, there is a very real fear of danger, from shame, ridicule, (and in the worst case even) punishment, torture, and execution. This fear of danger is real. This fear of danger is traumatic. This fear of danger has consequences. Please read:
   – Do you have religious trauma syndrome?
   – The fear of religion is a dangerous trap
2. Perceived small kindness from the abuser to the victim — almost any random act of kindness will keep the victim in a vicious cycle of trying to appease the abuser. Even not being the one who got hurt this time is enough. The resulting feeling of relief can be pleasurable, exhilarating, and euphoric. This feeling can be misunderstood to be a sign from God or a blessing of the Holy Spirit. It can be addicting; and, it can lead to bondage. Please read:
   – Are you addicted to religious praise and approval?
3. Isolation from perspectives other than those of the abuser — in most “closed” or “separatist” fundamentalist groups, all outsiders are considered to be “worldly” or “of the devil.” Therefore, members are strongly discouraged from consulting anyone outside the group, strongly discouraged from listening to them, and strongly discouraged from reading their books. Without any outside contact, it is almost impossible for insiders to objectively consider the situation. Please read:
   – What about “closed” or “separatist” fundamentalism?
   – We told him to stop because he isn’t in our group
4. Perceived inability to escape the situation — When all your family, friends, and neighbors are part of the “group” and leaving the situation would result in being shunned, “marked to be avoided,” or “counted as dead,” it is almost impossible to escape the situation because the cost is too high. And, if you get a glimpse that the situation is not right and you do not escape, you may start to feel ashamed to be an accomplice of the abuse, which will make it nearly impossible to admit you were wrong and get out. Please read:
   – I am glad to boast about my weaknesses
   – Jumping Ship

It is my personal opinion that many people in controlling, legalistic, fear-based religious organizations are victims of the Stockholm Syndrome. The longer someone stays in such a group and the longer someone suffers from Stockholm Syndrome, the harder it will be to recover. The only solution to this situation is to let the Lord help you. Please read…

• Jesus Built This Church on Love
• Rooted and Grounded in Love
• 8 Important Things for Christians to Embrace
• 8 Dangerous Things for Christians to Avoid
• The Grace Awakening by Charles Swindoll
• More Jesus, Less Religion: Moving from Rules to Relationship
• Grace and peace are the results of Christian growth

Other information on the web…

• Stockholm syndrome — Stockholm syndrome can be seen as a form of traumatic bonding, which does not necessarily require a hostage scenario, but which describes “strong emotional ties that develop between two persons where one person intermittently harasses, beats, threatens, abuses, or intimidates the other.” One commonly used hypothesis to explain the effect of Stockholm syndrome is based on Freudian theory. It suggests that the bonding is the individual’s response to trauma in becoming a victim. Identifying with the aggressor is one way that the ego defends itself. When a victim believes the same values as the aggressor, they cease to be perceived as a threat.
• What is Stockholm Syndrome? — Victims of Stockholm Syndrome generally suffer from severe isolation and emotional and physical abuse demonstrated in characteristics of battered spouses, incest victims, abused children, prisoners of war, cult victims and kidnapped or hostage victims. Each of these circumstances can result in victims responding in a compliant and supportive way as a tactic for survival.
• What is Stockholm syndrome? — There are no widely accepted diagnostic criteria to identify the syndrome, which is also known as terror-bonding or trauma bonding and it is not in either of the two main psychiatric manuals, The Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders and the International Statistical Classification of Diseases and Related Health Problems (ICD). But the underlying principles of how it works can be related to different situations, say some psychologists. “A classic example is domestic violence, when someone – typically a woman – has a sense of dependency on her partner and stays with him,” says psychologist Jennifer Wild, a consultant clinical psychologist at the University of Oxford. “She might feel empathy rather than anger. Child abuse is another one – when parents emotionally or physically abuse their children, but the child is protective towards them and either doesn’t speak about it or lies about it.”
• Love and Stockholm Syndrome: The Mystery of Loving an Abuser — If you’re in a controlling and abusive relationship, you may recognize several of the characteristics described in this article by Consulting Clinical Psychologist Dr Joseph M. Carver, PhD. Beginning with a description of how bonds form between victim and abuser, the article continues with observations about cognitive dissonance and offers suggestions for friends and family of victims.

If you think you might be suffering from Stockholm Syndrome or know somebody who is, please contact us.