What about marriage? Is a civil wedding ceremony required by God?

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What is marriage?

The Bible definition and description of marriage hasn’t changed in over 3500 years since Moses received revelation and commandment from God. But, mankind has changed many opinions, practices, and traditions about marriage during that time. Sometimes, it’s a good idea to go back to the Bible and see what it says.

I used to think a signed civil marriage certificate was required for a marriage to be acceptable to God. I used to think anyone living in a “marriage relationship” without a signed civil marriage certificate was living in sin. And, in early 20th century heartland America, maybe that might have been kind of true in a way.

But, then real life intruded on my naive thinking…

I know a dear Hindu couple who met each other, fell in love, got engaged, and were married in San Jose. Since they were devout Hindus, they had both a California civil wedding and a traditional Hindu religious wedding. Then they flew to Germany, where they each had dual German/Indian citizenship, for a German civil wedding and a Hindu religious wedding in the Hindu community that had been their home before immigrating to the USA. Then they flew to their native India for a civil wedding ceremony and then they drove to her hometown for a Hindu religious wedding ceremony with her family and drove to his hometown for a Hindu religious wedding ceremony with his family. Seven weddings!

I feel like the Sadducees, who tempted Jesus Christ with the question about the woman with seven husbands (Matthew 22; Mark 12; Luke 20),  when I ask, “Which wedding made them married in God’s eyes?”  I’m sure Jesus Christ would answer this question just like he answered their question.

Jesus replied, “Your mistake is that you don’t know the Scriptures, and you don’t know the power of God. (Matthew 22:29)

Which wedding did Jesus describe as “joined together by God”?

Some Pharisees came to test him. They asked, “Can a husband divorce his wife?” Jesus answered them, “What command did Moses give you?” They said, “Moses allowed a man to give his wife a written notice to divorce her.” Jesus said to them, “He wrote this command for you because you’re heartless. But God made them male and female in the beginning, at creation. That’s why a man will leave his father and mother and will remain united with his wife, and the two will be one. So they are no longer two but one. Therefore, don’t let anyone separate what God has joined together.” (Mark 10:2-9 GWT)

Which wedding did Isaac and Rebekah have?

Isaac took her into his mother Sarah’s tent. He married Rebekah. She became his wife, and he loved her. So Isaac was comforted after his mother’s death. (Genesis 24:67 GWT)

Which wedding was the Apostle Paul describing?

So I don’t want you to have any concerns. An unmarried man is concerned about the things of the Lord, [that is,] about how he can please the Lord. But the married man is concerned about earthly things, [that is,] about how he can please his wife. His attention is divided. An unmarried woman or a virgin is concerned about the Lord’s things so that she may be holy in body and in spirit. But the married woman is concerned about earthly things, [that is,] about how she can please her husband. (1 Corinthians 7:32-34 GWT)

Maybe the wedding that God accepts is the one that is used as an allegory for the relationship of the Lord Jesus Christ with his bride…

Husbands, love your wives as Christ loved the church and gave his life for it. He did this to make the church holy by cleansing it, washing it using water along with spoken words. Then he could present it to himself as a glorious church, without any kind of stain or wrinkle-holy and without faults. So husbands must love their wives as they love their own bodies. A man who loves his wife loves himself. No one ever hated his own body. Instead, he feeds and takes care of it, as Christ takes care of the church. We are parts of his body.  That’s why a man will leave his father and mother and be united with his wife, and the two will be one.  This is a great mystery. (I’m talking about Christ’s relationship to the church.) But every husband must love his wife as he loves himself, and wives should respect their husbands. (Ephesians 5:25-33 GWT)

Christians have always answered to a higher authority on matters of morality, ethics, honesty, charity, and love than the laws of the land. Maybe this is true of marriage. Maybe Christian marriage answers to a higher authority than a civil marriage certificate.

In the same way let your light shine in front of people. Then they will see the good that you do and praise your Father in heaven. (Matthew 5:16)

Dear friends, I warn you as “temporary residents and foreigners” to keep away from worldly desires that wage war against your very souls. Be careful to live properly among your unbelieving neighbors. Then even if they accuse you of doing wrong, they will see your honorable behavior, and they will give honor to God when he judges the world.h (1 Peter 2:11-12 NLT)

This kind of marriage requires a permanent commitment. It is not to be entered on a whim, it is not to be taken lightly, and it is not to be dissolved at will…

So the LORD God caused him to fall into a deep sleep. While the man was sleeping, the LORD God took out one of the man’s ribs and closed up the flesh at that place. Then the LORD God formed a woman from the rib that he had taken from the man. He brought her to the man. The man said, “This is now bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh. She will be named [woman] because she was taken from man.”  That is why a man will leave his father and mother and will be united with his wife, and they will become one flesh.  The man and his wife were both naked, but they weren’t ashamed of it. (Genesis 2:21-25 GWT)

Wives, in a similar way, place yourselves under your husbands’ authority. Some husbands may not obey God’s word. Their wives could win these men [for Christ] by the way they live without saying anything. Their husbands would see how pure and reverent their lives are. Wives must not let their beauty be something external. Beauty doesn’t come from hairstyles, gold jewelry, or clothes. Rather, beauty is something internal that can’t be destroyed. Beauty expresses itself in a gentle and quiet attitude which God considers precious.  After all, this is how holy women who had confidence in God expressed their beauty in the past. They placed themselves under their husband’s authority as Sarah did. Sarah obeyed Abraham and spoke to him respectfully.  You became Sarah’s daughters by not letting anything make you afraid to do good. (1 Peter 3:1-6 GWT)

Husbands, in a similar way, live with your wives with understanding since they are weaker than you are.  Honor your wives as those who share God’s life-giving kindness so that nothing will interfere with your prayers.  (1 Peter 3:7 GWT)

Don’t you realize, brothers and sisters, that laws have power over people only as long as they are alive? (I’m speaking to people who are familiar with Moses’ Teachings.)  For example, a married woman is bound by law to her husband as long as he is alive.  But if her husband dies, that marriage law is no longer in effect for her. So if she marries another man while her husband is still alive, she will be called an adulterer. But if her husband dies, she is free from this law, so she is not committing adultery if she marries another man. (Romans 7:1-3 GWT)

 Marriage is honorable in every way, so husbands and wives should be faithful to each other.  God will judge those who commit sexual sins, especially those who commit adultery. (Hebrews 13:4 GWT)

Disobeying God by trifling with the marriage relationship is serious…

Someone may say, “I’m allowed to do anything,” but not everything is helpful. I’m allowed to do anything, but I won’t allow anything to gain control over my life. Food is for the stomach, and the stomach is for food, but God will put an end to both of them. However, the body is not for sexual sin but for the Lord, and the Lord is for the body. God raised the Lord, and by his power God will also raise us. Don’t you realize that your bodies are parts of Christ’s body? Should I take the parts of Christ’s body and make them parts of a prostitute’s body?  That’s unthinkable! Don’t you realize that the person who unites himself with a prostitute becomes one body with her? God says, “The two will be one.”  However, the person who unites himself with the Lord becomes one spirit with him. (1 Corinthians 6:12-17 GWT)

 Stay away from sexual sins. Other sins that people commit don’t affect their bodies the same way sexual sins do. People who sin sexually sin against their own bodies.  Don’t you know that your body is a temple that belongs to the Holy Spirit? The Holy Spirit, whom you received from God, lives in you. You don’t belong to yourselves. You were bought for a price. So bring glory to God in the way you use your body. (1 Corinthians 6:18-20 GWT)

There are many believers, especially converts from Judaism, who are rebellious. They speak nonsense and deceive people. They must be silenced because they are ruining whole families by teaching what they shouldn’t teach. This is the shameful way they make money. Even one of their own prophets said, “Cretans are always liars, savage animals, and lazy gluttons.” That statement is true. For this reason, sharply correct believers so that they continue to have faith that is alive and well. They shouldn’t pay attention to Jewish myths or commands given by people who are always rejecting the truth.  Everything is clean to those who are clean. But nothing is clean to corrupt unbelievers. Indeed, their minds and their consciences are corrupted.  They claim to know God, but they deny him by what they do. They are detestable, disobedient, and unfit to do anything good. (Titus 1:10-16 GWT)

 If anyone doesn’t take care of his own relatives, especially his immediate family, he has denied the Christian faith and is worse than an unbeliever.  (1 Timothy 5:8 GWT)

For deeper study:

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