Once a week George, Tony, Wallace and their families would gather for a potluck at one of their homes for a Bible study. They all came from different backgrounds and traditions, and it soon became evident that there were conflicts among them. They all loved and appreciated each other but they were afraid their conflicts would tear them apart. They realized they needed help to find a resolution to the conflicts, so they all agreed to go visit an older man named Elmer. He was someone they all respected and it was evident to all, by the testimony of his long life, that he loved the Lord and was very wise in his years.
When they arrived at Elmer’s home, they all shared their concerns about their conflicts, and after patiently listening, Elmer told them he would think about it and pray about it and send them a letter the next week that they could review together before their next gathering.
Dear brothers George, Tony and Wallace,
I appreciate you coming to me last week and I appreciate the openness that you all shared, and your desire to continue working together for the Glory of Christ. After much prayer and counsel with other brethren I penned this letter in hopes that it will give you clarity and help resolve the issues you have among you.
Wallace, I appreciate your candidness and your humility in acknowledging that you are weak and need help understanding these matters. As a new Christian, who came out of the Seventh Day Adventist sect, we appreciate your desire for truth. Don’t become discouraged – I know you own a successful Vegan Grocery Store, and it is a great encouragement to learn how you have used it to further the Gospel of Christ. In fact, I heard the other day that you had 2 more employees that have accepted the simple Gospel of Christ.
George, I appreciate your testimony over the years, and your steadfastness. Being raised on a ranch in Texas, separated from a lot of traditions and worldly influence is a blessing, but has also made it difficult to understand why your brothers put so much value on some of the things they do.
Tony, welcome to the United States, and most importantly, welcome to the family of God. I heard of your recent testimony and coming to know Christ as your Savior. We’re glad to have you and your beautiful family here from Italy, and we look forward to growing together in the Lord. Your Catholic background is going to be a hurdle to overcome, and the traditions and doctrines they teach will not fall away overnight. I pray you will continue to remain open to your brethren, and to Christ in your growth as a brother.
You men have many differences. You all come from different backgrounds, families, traditions and languages.
George, accept Wallace and Tony as brothers who are weak in the faith, this is all new to them. Don’t quarrel with them about disputable matters. Your faith may allow you to eat anything, but Wallace was raised a vegetarian and it will take time for him to adjust – if he so desires – to eating meat. George and Tony – you should not treat Wallace with contempt or disapproval because he’s a vegetarian, but Wallace shouldn’t disapprove of your eating meat either. You are all saved sinners, and you are all accepted in Christ, He is your master.
George, please understand that Tony and Wallace were raised much differently than you. The Thanksgiving holiday is very important to them. You don’t have to partake in it with them if you do not wish, follow your convictions but do not condemn them for observing this holiday. Tony and Wallace – if you feel at liberty to continue celebrating Thanksgiving, do it for the Lord, and use it as an opportunity (as you mentioned already) to share the love of Christ to your families who do not profess to know Him.
George and Tony if you eat meat, thank the Lord for it! Wallace, if you eat a veggie burger, thank the Lord for it! You each will answer to God individually, not for each other. He knows your life, from beginning to end, and as you have all proclaimed – He is your Lord and Father – you belong to the Lord. He came and died on a cross and took on the sins of all mankind. He is your master, and should be, in everything you do. Don’t dispute over these petty issues between yourselves.
So why then do you judge your brother in Christ with contempt and disapproval? We all will stand before the judgment seat of Christ. Isaiah 45:23 says, “I have sworn by myself; the word has gone out of my mouth in righteousness, and shall not return, that to Me every knee shall bow, every tongue shall take an oath.”. We all will give an account for ourselves – not for others – to God. Your criticism of your brothers will not mean anything to you then.
Dear brothers – because of this, stop passing on your judgments on each other. Instead, make a commitment to one another to not be a stumbling block, don’t make life more difficult for each other. I am convinced that everything is from God, but we sinners are what contaminate it.
If you make an issue or confuse each other over what a man eats or drinks or what traditions he observes, that is not acting in love. Remember, Christ died for all, for your brothers, sisters – all have sinned. Don’t destroy them by your judgmental and disapproving attitude and by eating something that is offensive to them! Remember, God blessed the food you are eating, don’t let that blessed food become a cause for confusion.
The kingdom of God isn’t about what you eat or drink, but of righteousness, peace and joy in The Holy Spirit. Serve Christ in this way and it will be both pleasing to Him and the people around you.
So do whatever you can to promote peace and mutual edification. Don’t drag yourselves down by trying to find fault or being judgmental. This is going to take work and commitment from each of you, on all sides of the issue.
When you come together don’t eat, drink or do things that will distract or interfere or cause your brother to stumble… these times are meant to encourage one another – not tear each other down! So, whatever you believe about these things keep it between yourself and God. Your personal relationship with God is your own responsibility – not the responsibility of others.
You will also be blessed if you do not condemn yourself for what you allow. But if you doubt you are condemned – it is not from God, and everything that does not come from God is sin.
So, those of you who are strong, and can resist being offended by these petty things should bear with them who are weaker. I hope you’re not doing it to please yourself, but to please and to edify your brother. Follow Christ’s example… he knew the law perfectly, he followed it perfectly, but He did not do what please Him. The scripture says, “The criticism of those who criticized you fell on Me.” I know that was written hundreds and thousands of years ago, but these things were written for our learning. You can patiently learn and find comfort in the Scriptures – they will give you hope.
Men, Christ Jesus is a God of patience and comfort, and He has given us what we need to be like-minded towards each other. Imagine how you and your families could with one mind and one mouth glorify the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ!
May the God of Peace be with you,
Elmer
After you read it, read how God wants us to handle conflicts in Romans 14:1-15:6 and let me know what you think… it really helped me to understand how to resolve the conflicts that this passage is talking about.
Featured images: CC0 license by Clem Onojeghuo and Jae Croom on pexels.com
Related Posts:
- Simple "Romans Road" to salvation The "Romans Road" is a simple way of presenting the gospel using verses from Romans. It was written by the…
- Romans 12:1-2 From conformed to transformed by… Romans 12:1-2 contains the fourth "therefore" in this letter (cf. Romans 3:20; 5:1; 8:1; 12:1). It is one of the…
- The parable of the good (despised) Samaritan What is the parable of the good Samaritan and why do I call it the parable of the "despised Samaritan"?…
- A modern-day parable of a father and his adopted children A father adopted a dozen children from different countries, from different tribes, and from different kindred. He loved them all…
- Caregiver or Clergy – Love in action in the parable… What did Jesus teach about serving others? Many leaders in the Christian community are identified as Christian "ministers". This tradition…
- Learning from the parable of the sower and the seed Jesus spoke the parable of the sower and the seed to hide the truth and to reveal it Your response…
Romans 14 Cultivating Good Relationships
1 Welcome with open arms fellow believers who don’t see things the way you do. And don’t jump all over them every time they do or say something you don’t agree with—even when it seems that they are strong on opinions but weak in the faith department. Remember, they have their own history to deal with. Treat them gently.
2-4 For instance, a person who has been around for a while might well be convinced that he can eat anything on the table, while another, with a different background, might assume he should only be a vegetarian and eat accordingly. But since both are guests at Christ’s table, wouldn’t it be terribly rude if they fell to criticizing what the other ate or didn’t eat? God, after all, invited them both to the table. Do you have any business crossing people off the guest list or interfering with God’s welcome? If there are corrections to be made or manners to be learned, God can handle that without your help.
5 Or, say, one person thinks that some days should be set aside as holy and another thinks that each day is pretty much like any other. There are good reasons either way. So, each person is free to follow the convictions of conscience.
6-9 What’s important in all this is that if you keep a holy day, keep it for God’s sake; if you eat meat, eat it to the glory of God and thank God for prime rib; if you’re a vegetarian, eat vegetables to the glory of God and thank God for broccoli. None of us are permitted to insist on our own way in these matters. It’s God we are answerable to—all the way from life to death and everything in between—not each other. That’s why Jesus lived and died and then lived again: so that he could be our Master across the entire range of life and death, and free us from the petty tyrannies of each other.
10-12 So where does that leave you when you criticize a brother? And where does that leave you when you condescend to a sister? I’d say it leaves you looking pretty silly—or worse. Eventually, we’re all going to end up kneeling side by side in the place of judgment, facing God. Your critical and condescending ways aren’t going to improve your position there one bit. Read it for yourself in Scripture:
“As I live and breathe,” God says,
“every knee will bow before me;
Every tongue will tell the honest truth
that I and only I am God.”
So tend to your knitting. You’ve got your hands full just taking care of your own life before God.
13-14 Forget about deciding what’s right for each other. Here’s what you need to be concerned about: that you don’t get in the way of someone else, making life more difficult than it already is. I’m convinced—Jesus convinced me!—that everything as it is in itself is holy. We, of course, by the way we treat it or talk about it, can contaminate it.
15-16 If you confuse others by making a big issue over what they eat or don’t eat, you’re no longer a companion with them in love, are you? These, remember, are persons for whom Christ died. Would you risk sending them to hell over an item in their diet? Don’t you dare let a piece of God-blessed food become an occasion of soul-poisoning!
17-18 God’s kingdom isn’t a matter of what you put in your stomach, for goodness’ sake. It’s what God does with your life as he sets it right, puts it together, and completes it with joy. Your task is to single-mindedly serve Christ. Do that and you’ll kill two birds with one stone: pleasing the God above you and proving your worth to the people around you.
19-21 So let’s agree to use all our energy in getting along with each other. Help others with encouraging words; don’t drag them down by finding fault. You’re certainly not going to permit an argument over what is served or not served at supper to wreck God’s work among you, are you? I said it before and I’ll say it again: All food is good, but it can turn bad if you use it badly, if you use it to trip others up and send them sprawling. When you sit down to a meal, your primary concern should not be to feed your own face but to share the life of Jesus. So be sensitive and courteous to the others who are eating. Don’t eat or say or do things that might interfere with the free exchange of love.
22-23 Cultivate your own relationship with God, but don’t impose it on others. You’re fortunate if your behavior and your belief are coherent. But if you’re not sure, if you notice that you are acting in ways inconsistent with what you believe—some days trying to impose your opinions on others, other days just trying to please them—then you know that you’re out of line. If the way you live isn’t consistent with what you believe, then it’s wrong.
The Message (MSG)
Copyright © 1993, 1994, 1995, 1996, 2000, 2001, 2002 by Eugene H. Peterson
Amazingly, this principle even applies when people are wrongly fully convinced of the Lord that they are doctrinally correct…
Dear Elmer,
As an older man I want to entreat you to consider that the sincere true shoe leather of walking in love toward your brother is to not simply accepting what the other is doing but rather to give up a of drink wine, or to give up anything by which your brother stumbles or is offended or is made weak. I am not aware of anyone ever being offended, or stumbling, or being made weak by another abstaining from eating meat or a drink of wine. So I would encourage each George, Tony, and Wallace to give up something like the Thanksgiving Holiday that can not be found in the Holy Bible for the sake of the other. This would require each George, Tony, and Wallace to lay down their life for their brother rather than simply accepting their brother. Giving acceptance to someone does not require one to give up anything that self wants for their brother, and many a hippy has done this in the 60′s. Yours truly – A younger brother in Christ
For what it’s worth, you guys may not be as far apart as it might seem. What you are saying is certainly true that we should lay down our lives for our brothers. We know that all the law is fulfilled when we love our neighbor as our ourselves (Romans 13:8). And, this does apply to personal opinions and personal liberties. But, we’re not talking about whether to drive a Ford or a Chevy. The problem comes when we’re talking about sincerely held convictions of what is right or wrong before God. Right now today, there are Christians who hold a strong sincere belief that water baptism, the Lord’s supper, church offices, living apostles, gifts of the Holy Spirit, etc. are required. Other Christians hold equally strong sincere beliefs that they are not required. Romans 14 says, even when you are fully convinced on the authority of the Lord Jesus Christ of the truth of one side or the other, you should not condemn a brother.