12 words guaranteed to save your marriage

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If I could tell you 12 words that are guaranteed to save your marriage, would you use them? These 12 words are guaranteed to resolve arguments, stop fights, and restore relationships. These 12 words are hard to say. These 12 words require actions that are hard to do. Will you have the courage to say all 12 of them? Or, will you continue hurting your marriage?

“I love you”

The whole marriage should be infused with agapé love — a godly preference for your spouse — before all else. This is especially true during and after an argument or a fight. And, ever so much more so if hurtful words were said and hurtful actions were done. A marriage will wither and die without love. Make sure you say it often and prove it by your actions.

  • What is agapé love?
  • 20 Things Godly Christians Do Every Day
  • The Bible teaches how to be a godly husband
  • Do nothing out of selfish ambition or empty pride, but in humility consider others more important than yourselves. (Philippians 2:3)
  • Now about brotherly love, you do not need anyone to write to you, because you yourselves have been taught by God to love one another. (1 Thessalonians 4:9)
  • Since you have purified your souls by obedience to the truth so that you have a genuine love for your brothers, love one another deeply, from a pure heart. (1 Peter 1:22)

“I was wrong”

This stops every argument. This stops every fight. But, contrary to the popular song, these are the hardest words to say. Pride wants you to prove you were right. Humility wants you to admit you were wrong. But, these words only work if you follow through and stop doing more wrong.

A husband has the God-given responsibility to take the penalty for wrong-doing. He should be quick to say, “I was wrong.” Any husband who is strong enough to take the penalty for wrong, even when he is sure he is right, will save his marriage.

  • Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it; (Ephesians 5:25)
  • Husbands, love your wives and do not be harsh with them. (Colossians 3:19)
  • Husbands, in the same way, treat your wives with consideration as a delicate vessel, and with honor as fellow heirs of the gracious gift of life, so that your prayers will not be hindered. (1 Peter 3:7)

A wife has the God-given responsibility to stop fighting. She should be quick to say, “I was wrong.” Any wife who is sweet enough to submit to her husband, even when she is sure she is right, will save her marriage.

  • Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the Lord. (Ephesians 5:22)
  • Wives, submit to your husbands, as is fitting in the Lord. (Colossians 3:18)
  • …women to love their husbands and their children, to live wisely and be pure, to work in their homes, to do good, and to be submissive to their husbands. (Titus 2:3-5)
  • Wives, in the same way, submit yourselves to your husbands, so that even if they refuse to believe the word, they will be won over without words by the behavior of their wives (1 Peter 3:1)

“It’s my fault”

In a godly marriage, both husband and wife should be quick to say, “It was my fault.” Every argument should end in a race to apologize and forgive. Any couple who are godly enough to stop fighting, even when they are sure they are right, will save their marriage.

  • Submitting yourselves one to another in the fear of God. (Ephesians 5:21)
  • Do nothing out of selfish ambition or empty pride, but in humility consider others more important than yourselves. (Philippians 2:3)
  • And all of you, serve each other in humility, for “God opposes the proud but favors the humble.” (1 Peter 5:5)
  • This is why it says: “God opposes the proud, but gives grace to the humble.” (James 4:6)

This is what Jesus Christ did for us. He took the penalty of our sins. We were sinners. He never sinned. We were guilty. He was innocent. We were creatures. He was the creator. But, he took our punishment and died for our sins. We are to have the same attitude.

  • You must have the same attitude that Jesus Christ had. (Philippians 2:5-11)
  • by the one man’s obedience the many will be made righteous. (Romans 5:19b)
  • Though he was rich, yet for your sakes he became poor, so that by his poverty he could make you rich (2 Corinthians 8:9b)
  • We do this by keeping our eyes on Jesus, the champion who initiates and perfects our faith. (Hebrews 12:2a)

“I am sorry”

A real, genuine, sincere apology will solve every problem. Your spouse already knows you were wrong. You aren’t hiding anything. You aren’t fooling anybody. Apologize! Confess, repent, forsake, and be restored. Own the wrong. Admit your responsibility. Accept the consequences. Change your behavior. So you can be restored.

A real, genuine, sincere apology is a request for mercy and forgiveness. When you have been wrong, and confessed it, and you have apologized sincerely, then requesting forgiveness puts all the power into the hands of the other person. It is the ultimate act of submission. They may not forgive. If they don’t, remember Jesus Christ died for you when you were dead in treaspasses and sins. He died for your regardless of whether you would accept it. You need to have the same attitude.

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